A 



REFRESHMENT 



FOR THE MEMORT 



09 



WILLIAM COBBETT. 



BY 



SAMUEL F. BRADFORD. 






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rifyf^l 



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iVOO iO K 



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71 



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A REFRESHMENT, ^cf " ^ 




*' The gods take pleafure oft, when haughty mortals 
*• On then- own pride ereft a mighty fabric, 
" V,y flier htefl meajis, to lay their towering fcheme? 
'< Low in the duft, to teach them they are nothingJ^ 

Thomson. 



j[ OU will, doubtlefs, be furprlfed on finding who 
at is that now addreffes you ; but, your fuvprife will be 
of fhort duration, when you recoIIe£l, that it is one, 
whofe father's tranl;i£lions with you, all your ftore of 
lies and mifreprefentation have been expended to pre- 
fent in falfe coloring. I was at New-York when a 
gentleman firft informed me that the ferpent we had 
faved from perifhing had endeavoured to fting us. A- 
mazement rivetted me to the fpot where I flood — I 
could not believe it was'poflible tliat Cobbett would 
be guilty of fuch balenefs ; that the man, wh.om I 
(like an imprudent and unfufpeiling youth) took to my 
bofom as a friend, and treated with every mark of at- 
tention and politcncfs a flranger could cxpedl, woul4 
thus reward me ; but, however, I found it ivas poflible, 
and do, here, render you my moft fin cere thanks for; 
the valuable leflbn of prudence which you have taught 



C 4 3 

I muft coiifefs that I admired your private charafter- 
for a long time -, but, is it any wonder that a young 
man, unfkilled In the ways of the world, fhould be de- 
ceived by fo artful a creature and fo confummate an. 
hypocrite as yourfelf. It is beneath the dignity of- a 
man of honor, or of virtue, to be a traitor to his fellow 
man at all ; but, this turpitude receives additional ag- 
gravation, when pra£lifed on an unfufpedling and un- 
hackneyed youth — However, as you confefs yourfelf, 
in your letter to Mr. Bache, that you " aimed your 
poifonoiis darts at an innocent ivoman" (Mrs. Rowfon) 
it ought not to aftonifli me if you fliould even attempt 
the murder of infancy Itfelf ! ■ 

Your public writings, it is well known, I approved 
fo far as they refpedled our juftly celebrated conflitu- 
tion, and the Great Man whom the unanimous voice 
of the people of America has appointed their Chief 
Maglflrate ; but, as to your principles, you yourfelf mu^ 
acknowledge that I detefted them as much, and even 
more, than I did thofe of the party againft whom your 
public attacks were made. What repeated, what num- 
berlefs arguments have we not had on the fubje£t of 
Kepubllcan and Monarchical governments — Ahfolute 
Dtfpotifmy and nothing Icfs, accorded with your pri- 
i)ate fentiments : even the Britifli Government was not 
defpotic enough — it favoured tooflrongly of RepuhUcanifm. 

You weil know how warmly I defended the caufe of 
Repiiblicajiifm ; and with what ardor I juflified the 
laws and conilltutlon under which you noiv live, and 
which ycu have fo frequently abufed and' vilified in my 



C 5 3 

preTence : but, all my arguments were in vain — you 
ivere " nurfed in the lap of Ariftocracy." Even the 
very people, who now treat you with fo much atten- 
tion on account of fome of your public writings, have 
been, in private, grofly abufed by you. Our moft ref- 
pedlable characters were (according to your account) 
a fet of SpeculatorSi Land-jobbers^ &c. feeking to en- 
trap and deceive every foreigner who landed on our 
{hores ; our induftrious mechanics, nothing but a vile 
moby afaElioiis herdy &c. — The courtly flile of Burke wa» 
ever in your mouth. 

Call to mind the expreflion of Mob (meaning the 
citizens of Philadelphia) which you wifhed to intro- 
duce into the title page of your Plain Englifh, and 
which my father, with indignation, erafed. Deny 
this, if you dare : even your friend Beelzebub will 
ftare with amazement if you attempt it. 

How grofiy did you frequently abufe the People 
of America, by repeatedly afferting that they were* 
for the greater part, good AridocratSy good Royalijts 
in their hearts, and only wore the malk of hypocrify 
to anfwer their ov/n purpofes. You even had the va- 
nity to fay, you had " converted many nvho •werejlaiinch 
Republicans " and that you wifhed your arguments 
could have the fame efFedl on me -, but, that you fear- 
ed I was too much a Sans-culotte (meaning a friend 
pf liberty I fuppofe) at heart ever to be reformed by 
you. This you intended as a difparagement to me ; 
but, I confidered it as the higheft of compliments ; 

for,. remember your own words, " Men of integrity 
H 



C 6 -J 

arc gcnernlh] pretly objlinate in adhering to an cpinion once 
adiptcdy'' — This maxim, however, my confcience will 
not p:n-mit me to apply to you •, for, though <« ftiff 
in opinion, always in the wrong," I will not offer fach 
an infult to virtue as to call your obftinacy the offspring 
of integrity j befides, your rcafons were, like fome of 
your writings, mere froth •, for, although you can de- 
claim and fcandalize with the gveatefb hero of Billingf- 
gate, yet, in fober argument, and chafiity of manner, 
you are,, as far as my judgment goes, the mereft nicom- 
poop of the whole group of the defenders of Ariftocra- 
cy and Royalty — and, in all our numerous converfa- 
tions, your argumentative powers have proved infufH- 
cient to convince me that — " to be a citizen of America 
ivas to be a Slave, and to be a fitbjeB to thekingofXjreat 
Britain, in comparifon, a Freeman.^'' 

There is one circumflance that I give you credis 
for ; that is, the love you bore Old England, and e- 
very man muft allow the amor patriae to be commen- 
dable. There was no affe6lation then (as now) of 
love for America * and a Republican form of govern- 
ment, I mean in private ; for hunger (fince you have 
now forced me to teir the fecret) made you write in a 
different llyle from what you fpoke. You knew 
there was a party licre who were charged with an in- 
tention to fubvcrt the government, and who were faid 
to be enemies to it ; you were then teaching a few 
frenchmen, in this city, to parler Anglois ; (you think 
proper to make no mention of this in your life ; but if 

* No noonder — the Jlripcs on l^er jlag bore too great ati- 
enabgy to a certain part of ^ourbody. 



[ 7 ] 

yoa have impudence enough to deny it, remember 
witnefTes are at hand) but, findhig yourlcif too dog- 
matical for a teacher, not of" Boys over whom you could 
exercife your tyranny, but of Alat who would not 
brook your imperious manner, and fearing to (larve* 
■ you thought of becoming an author. My father, when 
you offered him your firfl produ6lions, fav/ in them 
fome marks of a ready writer, and hop'mg^ (vain hope 
indeed !) as you were then extremely anxious for con- 
cealment, to make you ferviceable to his Country and 
himfelf, printed them ; but, too much of the colour- 
ing of your private fentiments would, frequently, ap- 
pear in your public writings, in fpite of the many al- 
terations and aiTiendments we made. 

You fay in your life that you were <' never of an 
accommodating difpofiticn," in order to prove that 
we made no alterations in yovir writings. Your me- 
mory is, i-eally very ba-d " my Lad^^ or you would 
not affert falflioods with fuch unblufiiing effrontery. 
Remember what you wifhed inferted in the New 
Year's Gift ; remember what was erafed frorh the 
Congrefs Gallery, and remember, too, the many al- 
terations I made, independently of m.y father — I would 
infert fome of the erafed paflages here, but they are 
too blackguard, too low, and too infulting to Ameri- 
cans, for my pen to v/rite. Yes, Billy, you may 
thank me for refufnig feveral things which you wilhed 
inferted, and efpecially the piece I made you era ft; 
from the manufcript of the New Year's Gift the mo- 
ment I faw it, and on account of wliich, if it had b'.-en 



[ 8 3 

publifhed you would now be, where it- any a Britifli 
Corporal has been before you. 

Excufe my refrefhhig your memory with thefe cir- 
cumftances ; but, I find it is, really, grown fo trea- 
cherous (notwithftanding your own aflertion to the 
contrary) that I could not avoid it. You have already 
«*■ my Lady' proved yourfelf a Liar and I can prove 
you to be a poor pitiful Coward ! 

' I well know, that you never expe£led to receive an 
anfwer, or you would not have written what you did. 
You endeavoured to vihfy my father, and, except, in 
one inftance, fteered clear of me. You knew my fa- 
ther — You knew he never would ftoop to anfwer the 
lies of a Britifti Corporal — You knew his charadter 
was too well eftablifhed, and, therefore, you expeft- 
ed your bafe infinuations would not be refuted. You 
avoided faying any thing to difcredit me ; and, every 
one, who knows your knack at lying, cannot but be- 
lieve, your fertile brain could have engendered fome 
lloryor other to injure me, had you not been witheld 
by cowardly motives ; yes, I fay cowardly motives j for, 
you were confcious 

'' I could a tale unfold 
*' Wliofe lighteft woes v/ould harrow up the fouls"— of 
the freemen of our country. 

You, alfo, knev/ I was a young man, who had a 
character to eftablifii in the world — that I was jealous 
of that charaaer, and, that the leafl afperfion from 
you, v/ould produce an anfwer on my part. This was 
what you dreaded j and, by facing (as you thought) 



L 9 ] 

nothing to afFe6l me, you expected to fave " your ba- 
con" — But you are miftaken. Remember, ** 7ny Lady* 
I am not the heart-breaking rafcal to my parents, that 
you have been to yours. I love my parents — Say you 
loved yours, if you dare, when you caufed them fo 
many hours of anguifli. You thought I could read 
your lies, concerning my father, unmoved, provided 
I did not come in for a fhare myfelf. You did not 
know me ; but, remember, from this time, that eve- 
ry afperfion on his chara6ler, I confider as a detraction 
from my own. Were you to write ten thoufand lies, 
concerning me, I could eafier forgive you, than for 
one concerning him. Let fly your whole ftore of enve- 
nomed Quills againft me — I am prepared — Armed 
with the fhield of truth, I fear you not. Methinks I 
now behold you, fwearing vengeance on my head, and 
biting your under lip 'till the blood almoft iflues from it. 
Yes, methinks I fee all this ; for, though you pretend 
to have no feeling, I muft confefs, that when (in our 
ftOre) you read the Rub from Snuby poorly written as 
it was, you knit your eye brows, flirugged up your 
Ihoulders, and *' grinned horribly o ghajtly fmile " but, 
recolledling yourfelf, you threw it down, and, with 
an afFeCled laugh of contempt, faid " He's a poorfcur' 
r'llous dog, dnd not ivorih minding^ Yet, fpare me for 
this time, Billy, and keep your temper a little longer 
for I have more in ftore for you — If you dojiaver a 
little, only be careful that it does nor come in contadl 
with any of your neighbours ! ! ! 

If any perfon ftill doubts your being a Coiuardy he 
may have further proof in the manner of your attack- 



C 10 ] 

lug Mr. Carey and my father. In order to avoid Mr. 
Care y's anger, you endeavour to make up with him, 
by commending his fecrecy. My father, you well 
knew, gloried fo much in the name of Whig (or Re- 
bel, as you generally ftiled him) that you thought to 
curry favour with him, and make him forgive and for- 
get your abufe by laying open his principles to the 
put)Hc. He has forgiven you j and, has difdained (as 
you, naturally, fuppofed would be the cafe) to anfwer 
your infinuations. Nor fnould I (a boy) have honor- 
ed you fo much had it not been for the opportunity 
which the -preceeding pamphlet offered me of annex- 
ing a refreihment for your excellent memory. I fhall 
content m.yfelf, at prefent, with making fome remarks 
on your half-told life and your mifreprefentations and 
reticence of your tranfatlions with my father. 

But, to your life — " Set a beggar on horfeback and 
he will ride to the Devil." Here we fee you, Mr. 
Corporal^ mounted on your prickly beaft, cutting and 
flafhing as you go ; friend or foe, it is all one to you, 
fo that you can belch forth your acrimony and dif- 
charge your rancour. 

V/hether you were drummed out of your regiment 
or regularly difcharged (though, by tlie bye, it is not 
common to difcharge a good foldier, as you would 
make us believe) or whether you arrived at New York 
or "Wilmington ; whether you remained, in obfcurity, 
fceaching a few Frenchmen io parley Angkis in the lat- 
ter place and afterwards here, or whether you Vi^ere 
fKulking in our fuburbs, 'till you fuppofed it was time 



C " ] 

to flafli upon the aftonlflied world, and difplay your 
fuperioi" abilities, by telling us, that William Cobbett 
was the writer of certain pieces under the title of Peter 
Porcupine, I fay, thefe things are matters of little con- 
fequence to me. Your infinuations, mifreprefenta- 
tions and reticences are what concern me. 

Whether the expveffion " that my father found you 
a coat," was really told to you, or whether it was your 
own confcioufnefs, I will not pretend to fay. But 
this much I will declare, that neither he, or any of 
the family, ever did make uie of the exprefTion ; how- 
ever, on recoMe6lion and perufal of your life, the view 
of your regimentals, which, no doubt, were the beft 
in your wardrobe when you attempted to difpofe of 
your writings, when I view thefe tilings, the chai:gc 
in your drefs, tlie addition to your houfnold furniture 
your living down ftairs inflcad of the Garret you were 
firft found in, I make no doubt he contributed to pvrt 
better cloaths on your back, and better furniture in 
your houfe. 

Had not my father rificed his property in order to 
print your effays and convince you that his prefs was 
free, you might, ere now, have enlifted as a foldier, 
indulged your love of rambling, or have been rnaliitaincd 
at the public expsucc. 

You wifli to infinuate, psge 38, that my fatlicr^s 
prefs is not a free prefs. This is fo falfr; as not to me- 
rit an anfwer. You and your eilays prove the contra- 
ry, and the people of America well know, that !ie, as 
well as his father and f^xQzt grandfather, have all Iwif 



C '2 ] 

the honor of being profecuted for maintaining Its liber* 
ty in fplte of the frowns and menaces of a Britifli Min- 
iftry. And, while I am its condu£lor, it fliall be open 
and free to any and every party, whether in politics or 
literature j it fhall roll as a free and independent (not 
licentious) prefs ought to, in fpitc of the clamours cf 
faBion, the Jlatider of hirelings^ or the frowns of Pow- 
er. Nay, were the Prefldent of the United Sts-tes, 
that firft, that greateft of men, to make an attack on 
its freedom, it flaould repel hirn v/lth its native ener- 
gy- 
Apropos, Billy ; I faw at the end of your Scare 
Crow, " From the Free Prefs of William Cohheity* 
What ! you have fet up a Free Prefs, have you ? — 
A Free Prefs of your own too, I fuppofe ! ! Pray, how 
long is It fince you bought a prefs? You have been ve- 
ry fecret about the bufinefs, indeed: you never let a 
fnigle brother Typo know a word about it, 'till you 
flafned upon us with " From the Free Prefs^ &c." None 
of the prefs-makers, here, had even the leall know- 
ledge of it, no not one. But, I fuppofe you imported 
It ; and your workmen too, eh ! for, I have never yet 
heard of any American journeyman having worked in 
Billy Cobbett's printing office. At the end of your 
" Life and Adventures" I do not fee any more men- 
tion of the Free Prefs ; the plain imprint " Printed for 
end fold by Williain Cobbett" is fufficient now ! What ! 
fold it already ! — Shame on you Billy. — Sell a Free Prefs 
a month after its eftablilhment ! Oh tempora ! Oh mo- 
res ! But, to be ferious, as I fee you have repented, 
if you Vr'ill promife to continue your good behaviour, I 



C '3 3 

V'ill not tell your friends how you employed anothef 
printer, and, plagiarlft like, called his prefs your own 5 
but, mind, this is on condition that I fee nothing more 
of " William Cobbett's Free press." 

You fay, page 40, your pamphlets were not " ho- 
nored with the bookfeller's name." I fee you will be 
at your old trade of lying ftill. The books, as they now 
Hand in the (lore will give you the lie. The imprint 
of *' La Nomenclature Angloife^'* fays ** Imp rime che% 
Thomas Bradford" — but, you forget to place this book 
in your very accurate account; you forget that you ever 
wrote it, and got paid for it. However, that is no 
great matter of furprize ; it was written for the ufe of 
Frenchmen, and you know, that a man, who cannot 
remember having been a teacher de la langue Angloife 
might, eafily, forget receiving payment for a Nomen- 
clature, purpofely written to facilitate its acquirement. 
He might alfo, with the fame eafe, forget that he ever 

wrote a grammar, entitled " Le Tuteur Anglois ■ 

Imprime chez Thomas Bradford," and that he receiv- 
ed a confiderable fum of money for it, together with 
two hundred copies of the work, which he gave his 
word never to difpofe of here (as he had an intention 
to leave this *' damned country" and feek his fortune 
elfewhere) but, which he did difpofe of to his fcholars, 
and others, at an under price, and thereby injured our 
fale fo much that the chief part of the edition is now on 
hand, and, if he chufes to purchafe, will be fold to him 
again for half its value. 
I 



[ 14 ] 

In the fame page you fay, (fpeaking of the Obferva- 
tions on Dodlor Prieftley's emigration) that my father 
did not put his name at " the bottom of the title page." 
Fray, Billy, have you grown blind lately. If you have, 
get fome one of your " numerous and reJpeElable friends^* 
to look at the « bottom of the title page" or imprint, 
(properly fpeaking) of the very firft edition, that edition 
w^hich he and you publiflied together, and they will 
there behold " Philadelphia : printed by Thomas Brad- 
ford, No 8, South Front Sreet." The firft part of 
tlie Bone to Gnaw, I confefs was not fo much honored ; 
but, my father had nothing to do in the affair. If 
there is any blame, let it fall on me ; for, I am the 
fuperintendant of his prefs, and certain reafons (not; 
very flattering to you) reftrained my inferting his name 
It was afterwards inferted you fay ! True ; but, re- 
member "w^ lady'' I am not a run-away — a father^s 
wifh is a command with me. 

Again, page 41, you affert that your " writings 
got into better paper." Oh ! Billy, your memory is 
exceedingly treacherous, or you are no judge of paper> 
and that is a terrible thing for a Bookfelier. However^ 
fliould the latter be the cafe, I befeech you to get fome 
papermaker, and let him compare the paper in the firft 
editions of the Obfervations and Bone to Gnaw with 
that contained \xi their fucceeding editions, and he will 
report to you that it is far fuperior. The different edi- 
tions may be feen, by any of your " numerous and ref- 
pectable friaids'^ at No. 8, South Front Street. 



C 15 ] 

You mention, in the fame page, that my father and 
you publlflied the firfl edition of the " Obfcivations on 
Doctor Prieftley's emigration" together, and that you 
received twenty one cents for your Ihare of the profits ; 
but, you forget to tell your readers, that when fo fmall 
an edition (as was) is printed there can be no more 
profits than will barely pay for the printing, binding* 
Sec. of the edition. Though, now I think of it, this 
could be no fault of your memory ; it was a bafe re- 
ticence, and intended tc> give your readers and idea 
that my father did not do you juftice. That this was 
your intention, looks mere likely, when I confider, 
that you wifh to make it appear that he gave you 125 
Dollars for the firfl part of the Bone to Gnaw ; fo 
that people, by comparing your profits of the Obferva- 
tions, and the price he could afFord to give you for the 
Bone to Gnaw, would draw very unfavourable conclu- 
fions againft him. This was what you wanted ; this 
was you defign ; but, your confcience muft tell you, 
chat there were five times as many of the firfl; edition 
of the Bone to Gnaw fold, as there were of the Obfer- 
vatlons. You take efpecial care to forget that there 
was a fecond and third edition of the Obfervations 
publihsd, and that you made feveral additions to them; 
that my father printed them on his own acount, and 
that he has a Copy-right for the work. Pray, " viy 
lad" did you make him a prefent of the Copy-right .-* 
I do not fee any charge of it in your account. You 
area generous fellow indeed ! But, further,, how came 
he to give you 125 Dollars for the firll part of the 
Bone to Gnaw, and and but 40 for the fecond ? Tlicy 



C "6 ] 

are both, nearly, of the fame fize. It is true the firft 
fold better than the fecond ; but, he did not know, at 
the time of making the bargain, this would be the cafe : 
the prefumptlon was, that the fecond would have a 
much quicker fale than the firft, becaufe the writings 
were more generally circulated and known. Your 
confcience muft tell you what the 125 Dollars were 
given for, and, if you have the leaft fpark of honor re- 
maining, you will undeceive a public, already, too 
much duped by your artifices. 

Through your dealings with my father, you cannot 
fay but that he paid the price you alked for your eflays 
and fome other works which he hired yon to do ; and, 
perhaps, it might be made to appear you got fomething 
more ; but, the principle bufinefs, your confcience 
(if you have any) told you, fhould be accounted for 
was that of the Congrefs Gallery. This, in converfa- 
tion was ftarted by you or my father it matters not 
which J but, on conclufion, he aiked you what you 
would have for the work. Your anfwer was, one quar- 
ter of a dollar per page. This he agreed to give you, 
and, accordingly, iflued propofals for fubfcription, as 
it was intended to be a large work, and continued 
through the feflion ; but, B. Davis, the Bookfeller, 
who came frequently to our ftore, one day, by popping 
in, as your were mentioning the Bloody Buoy, dif- 
covered you j and, my father not being over-anxious 
to publifh it he contracted with you for it. While 
writing this, you were feveral times applied to for 
the fecond number of the Congrefs Gallery — you made 
tarious excufes to put it ofi^j but, my father, finding 



L >7 J 

you meant to publifh the work under another title, 
called on you, and aflced you for the work ; you denied 
nvrkifig, tho' it was, then, nearly ready for the prefs> 
and, being prefled, you faid, that if you did write, no 
other than he fiiould have it. 

My father had, as far as the word of a man could go 
purchafed the copy-right of the Profpetl, and had enter- 
ed the fame; but you, like an artful villain, finding it 
had a ready fale, forfeited all ties of contrail (fup- 
pofing you an honefl man he had taken no more than 
yo'sc word) and continued the work under another 
title, as if that would fcreen your villainy. Had the 
propofals, ifTued by him, by and with your concur- 
rence, been filled, the lofs to him muft have been very 
confiderable ; and when the arrangements, made by 
him, are taken into view, perhaps, had he purfued his 
ideas (which I am now forry I diffuaded him from) 
when he wrote the note, dated the 2 2d of March, 1 796, 
a jury might have given a few pounds damages, to con- 
vince a Brittjh Corporal thzt he ought to keep his word, 
with an " American RehcV as well as with any other 
man ! 

In page 48, I fee the following fentence ** Mr. 

'Bradford once told me, that Mr. Allen, the father-in-lanu 
ej Mr. Hammond, faid he ivas acquainted ivith inc." Do 
you really mean that my father told you fo ? If you do, 
the following exa£l ftatement will prove either your 
admirable talent of mifreprefentation, or the excellence 
of your very excellent memory. My brother, Willi:?m 
Bradford, one day, told you, that Andrew Allen, the 



[ i8 ] 

fonotMr. Allen, 6ie father-in-law of Mr. Hammond, 
had, as they v/ere M^alking together, pointed you out 
as Peter Porcupine. My father never mentioned the 
circumftance to you at all •, he did not even know it. 

I will now proceed to the afli;'rtion you make con- 
cerning myfelf. You mention that Mr. Bradford's 
fon (you forgot I fuppofe he has three) offered you a 
hundred dollars a number for the Profpe61:, in place 
of eighteen, and that he obferved, that their cuftomers 
would be much difappointed, for, that his father had 
promifed a continuation, and that it Jloould he made very 
intereji'mg. The firft part of this, for a wonder, is 
ftridlly true : I did offer you one hundred dollars, and 
my father did promife d continuation in the propofals ; 
for, as he had your word of honor ! for the fulfillment 
of the contract, he fully expe£led it would be conti- 
nued during the feflionj but with regard to the expref' 
fion that it Jfjould he made very interejtingy you have 
fallen into your old failing. I never did make ufe of it, 
either to you or any other man, and it is only a fabrica- 
tion of your own in order to account for your rafcally 
behaviour. 

"What a pity it is, Cobbstt, that you did not entrap 
me in the Geneva affair. Perhaps you don't recoiled 
this either. I will refrefh your memory. Remember 
that you came acrofs a copy of the hiftory of the late 
revolution in Geneva, written in French, and that hav- 
ing propofed tranllating it you wiflied me to appear as 
the tranflator by inferting in the title-page, « Tranjlated 
from the French by Samuel F. Bradford." Remember 
too, that you mentioned to me that you defigned, alfo. 



C 19 J 

to write a preface, which was to appear as if coming 
from me : your intention in fo doing, yovi hinted, was 
to make the pubHc (who would compare your ityle of 
writing with the preface) take me for the author, and 
this you fuppofed I would be proud of. Your real in- 
tention was to perplex the public opinion and avoid 
being difcovered ; for you were at that time cxceffively 
frightened at the bare idea of fuch a thing. This was 
the time I began to fee your cloven foot. Do you 
think you acied as a man of virtue, honor, cr principle 
in endeavouring to drav/ an inexperienced young man 
into an affiiir of fuch a nature? Suppofe, for a mo- 
ment, I liad confentcd, what fweet nuts you would 
Ixave had to crack ! Tlianks to my pride J did not con- 
fent. Yes, to my pride, I fay; for it_ was. wounded 
by fuch an offer. If I had wiflied to become known as 
a tranflatorof the French lan^uafre or fome other moderu 
ones, I need only to have affixed my name to,, and pub- 
lifhed thofe works and mifcellaneous pieces which have 
hitherto employed my lelfure hom-s. Perhaps, eveft 
now, you do not remember, why you dropt the publi- 
cation — I will again refrefh your memory : You be- 
gan the tranllation and intended to pubiifh it in another 
name •, but, a few days after, you found it was printed 
ty Mr. Fenno, and accordingly gave it up. 

I muft now difmifs the fubjeil, confident I have 
treated it more fully than it deferved. The time I 
have been writing the foregoing I confider as loft in- 
deed; but, I could not behold fo many abominable 
falfhoods with indifference. " Aiy lad, " you m\j 
now write agaiijft wc till your « red htad" tur«s blac^> 



C 2° ] 

1 here throw you the gauntlet — take it up, and however 
poorly writen this firft public anfwer of mine may be, 
however devoid of all the beauties of ftyle, and the 
graces of compofition the whole of this Refrefhment 
may appear', yet, you will feel, on reading it, that it 
contains more llinging truths than a cat o' nine tails. 

You may, perhaps, fuppofe, that being a boy, I might 
forget myfelf and defcend fo far, as to honor you with 
a criticifm upon your works. No, I difdain it 5 your 
blunders are fo great that it would be an Herculean la- 
bour to enumerate therti ; your writings are made up 
of blackguardifms and grammatical outrages. But, 
were I to defcend to criticifm, I might tell you that 
the very page which lays before me (49) and which is 
next to the one from which I but a little while ago 
made an extraft, contains the following elegant and 
grammatical fentence. " This we daily fee verified 
in the diftribution of certain blafphemous gazettesy 
which, though kicked from the door with difdain,j/?zVj- 
in at the window." Had I, while at fchool, written 
fuch a fentence, my fchool-mates would have hifTed: 
me from my clafs. Gazettes fies ! ! ! Oh ! Billy, Billy ! ! 
I will conclude by giving the public your own fen- 
timents of your own works, which I have in your own 
liand writing. If you have forgotten this alfo, come 
and refrefh your memory, or if you are ajhamed to come 
nigh our houfcy get fome of your friends to look whe- 
ther or no it is not your own hand-writing. It fhall 
be open for the infpedion of the public. Here it is — 
read and « grin horribly a ghaftlyfrn^kP 



t 2' ] 

« Mr. Bache, 

** A pamphlet has lately made its appeai-ance among us 
** — entitled A Second part of' a Bone to Gnaiu,jor the De- 
** mocrats^ which is at once perhaps the mod impudent 
*' and infolcnt performance that ever difgraced a free 
<' prefs. — I do not cenfure this piece for its being 
" written againft the Democrats; for I am certain that 
" every careful periifer will fee that its true obje6l is, 
« not to combat thofe focieties, but to vilify all Ame- 
<f rica, and its allies, its faithful alJies, and raife the 
** interefts of Great Britain on their ruins. The writer 
" has feized the opportunity of a pamphlet containing 
** the proceedings of the United Iriflimen (which 
** the editor had certainly as great a right to publifh as 
** he has to publilh his trafh) to introduce to the unwa- 
" ry public a trait in the French revolution, which, 
** though it muft give pain to every humane mind, is 
<* not lefs excufable than other exceiTes to which every 
<' nation is inevitably impelled by its revolutionary 
<* motion. He has introduced tii's trait, however, 
** with all the exaggerated circumflances that can be 
** conceived, and while he fets out with telling his 
<* reader that his genius is not adapted to the tragic, 
** he is preparing to " harrow up his foul" with hor- 
«' ror. But what had the feige of Lyons to do with 
<* the Democrats in this country or with the United 
*' Irifhmen? There was not the leafh fhadow of a necef- 
*' fity for introducing it, and it could be done only to 
" vilify the French and all other repiiblica?i governments. 
** Obferve where the author fays p 42. " when France 
<* was a monarchy the common hangman at Lyons en- 
*' tertained a higher fenfe of honour than has yet been 
<^ exprefled by any one of the convention." Is not 
*' this infinuating that it is imponible for i-epublicans 
*' to poflefs any fenfe of honour ? This {hallow writer 
«' has perhaps never heard of the Brutufes and Catos 
« and of many republicans of modern times that might 
*^ vie with them. 



[ 22 ] 

** Tlie conclufion of this piece b "rs the ftamp of 
«« its origin ; it finiflies with endeavouring to perfuadc 
«< the citizens of this country, that they ought to pre- 
*< fer ccfjuecxisns with Great Britain to thofe with 
« France. But rhis author does not feel as an jJmeri- 
« rati ; the injuries that Great Britain has heaped on 
<« this country are not imprinted on his heart as they 
« arc on ours. This reafoning from the prefent fitua- 
« tion of France is falacious — wh.atever may be her mo- 
*« mentary diftreflcs, fhe cannot fail in the end to raiife 
<« herfeh i'uperior to all lier enemies, and to put to the 
<' blufli all thofe who are now rejoicing in imaginary 
*' profpedis of her deftrudlion. 

*< This writer takes particular delight in vilifying thofe 
«' charafters whom Americans have been long accuf- 
<* tomed to admire — the piece would not be his, if it 
*^ did not contain fome farcafm on the venerable Doc- 
<* tors Fratiklin and Priejiley — in this laft produ(£lion he 
<« feems to have gone a little further than ufual, he 
*« has placed one of them in hell and given us to un- 
*'^ clerftand that the other will foon follow liim. 

" His low attempt at wit on this fubje6l can only 
«' daw a fmiie of contempt from a man of fenfe. The 
*' two great men he has thought proper to treat thus, 
<' are fo far above the reach of his malice, that it 
<' would be ufelefs for me to attempt their juflification. 
*' The dead have ever been looked upon as exempted 
*' froni reproach, but this pamphleteer difregards de- 
*« corum ; it is not aiconifning he who has been bafe 
*' enough to aim his poifonous darts at an innocent 
« woman, fliould not look upon the grave as a flicker 
« from his malice. 

" I Ihall make but one obfervatlon on the fide of this 
" pamphlet, it is this ; that, if poffible, it is fome- 
*' thing worfe than any thing this author has before 
<f given us, and that if this is the way he improves, 
«' we may expert him to arrive very foon at that per- 
" fe6i:ion of infipidity which will enfure him the title 
« of Jerry Siiale. I would advife him to defift — let 
*< him leave off while he is well — whatever he may 
« imagine, he was never formed to make converts in 



[ 23 1 

« America — his vculd-be wit never ceafes lo nwnken 
<* difguft, Bene to Gnmu r.nd Grub-flreet, \\-\\\ foon be 
•* fynonymous. 

A Ccrrefpcndetit 
Burlington, June 2, 1795, 

" I have copied i his Icvirg cpiftle, -ucrdfcr 
word and kite?' for letter^ p-e/ewiiig ihe falfe 
orthography ;'^ it was written by William Cob- 
bett for publication. He requefted me to tranf- 
cribe it, and fend it to Mr. B^che, which I did 5 
but, whether Mr. Baclie's difcernment led him 
to fufpe£l the author, who wiflied by any means^ 
however foid^ to bring himfelf into notice, or 
•whether he confidered Peter Porcupine as too 
contemptible to merit public animadverflon, I 
will not pretend to fay; certain it is, however, 
that he did not publifii it. The original re- 
mained in my hands, and m.ay now be feen by 
any perfcn who wiflies to behold a fpecimen of 
licry accurate writing! 

SAMUEL F. BRADFORD. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



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